Tag Archives: care

L is for ‘Love’: (Seven effects of love that ought to come with a warning label!)

pills, red, bottle, love, passion

Photo by Dominique Godbout.

When you experience love, it is like taking medicine for the first time. As you adjust to the changing presence of love in your heart, you may experience some ‘side effects’- just as you feel the effects when you introduce a new substance to your body. The effects of love are manifold, and some of love’s ‘side effects’ are unexpected and may be a big change from your usual feelings. If love could be bottled – like medicine – and consumed to be experienced, then the bottle should come with these ‘warning labels’ of love’s unexpected side effects:

!WARNING!: When you truly experience love, you may feel like being alone.

When you think of love, you think of sharing love with your partner, family and friends, right? But experiencing love may have the opposite effect on you. Love might cause you to lock your door, unplug your phone, switch off the internet and be non-contactable, even by smoke-signal, if you are adjusting to loving yourself. It is hard to love yourself if you feel that you must constantly be giving yourself to others. To be alone is to look within, to be at peace, and to promote self-knowledge. To be alone is to accept your own company as good company: there is love in that acceptance.

!WARNING! Living with love may make you more aggressive.

Do you think of love as something floaty and passive and saintly? What if I told you that when you choose to experience love, you may start to give a shit about things you’ve never cared about before? When you experience love, the first thing to be cured is apathy. The second thing, is the sense that we are all separate from each other. Don’t be surprised when you welcome love into your heart, you begin to think ‘what can I do to help?’, ‘how can I change this?’, ‘how can I make a difference?’- love feeds your inner eco-warrior, your inner samaritan and your inner Robin Hood.

!WARNING! When you experience love, you may notice spontaneous physical changes in your body.

Do you love doughnuts? Do you love booze? Do you love junk food? When you ramp up the dosage of love in your life, you may not love those things so much. A weird side effect of love is that you may start loving life, your health and yourself too much to still love eating that crap. When you take a new dose of love into your heart, ‘I feel like eating a salad’ may spontaneously run through your mind…just sayin’…

!WARNING! Choosing love may cause you to quit your job.

Love, if you let it, will eventually course through every vein of your life. If you start out doing a job that is on a non-loving vibration, and you subsequently introduce a higher dose of love into your life, you may see, quite frankly, that you job is a waste of what you have to give. You may come to realize that your job does not support your wellness; you may see clearly that it doesn’t support the planet’s wellness. It may dawn on you that your work has fallen out of sync with your soul’s needs. If so, use love’s inspiration to guide you towards what to do to put it right. (This happened to me, I used to work for a credit card company).

!WARNING! Living a life of love may make you re-think your entire life.

Woah! This can be scary…when you begin to live with regular supplements of love, it may cause you to take stock of your whole life. Your life is not compartmentalized, everything has a knock-on-effect on everything else. Love causes you to treat people differently- that in itself can have a massive effect on the quality of experiences in your life. Love wants you to do things that support your wellbeing. Love encourages you towards happiness and peace. Love shoves you in the direction of joy….and the dominos continue to tumble.

!WARNING! Love will make you more self-interested.

To many, love means being selfless, but when you have love in your life, how can you be selfless? You are the facilitator of love by your thoughts, intentions, words and actions. In order to facilitate love, you need to have an understanding of love and to understand love, you need to feel loved…how can you possibly offer something that you have never felt? Not only is it perfectly acceptable for you to receive love, but it is absolutely necessary. Love has the weird side-effect of causing you to cultivate an understanding of love for others by loving yourself.

!WARNING! Love has been known to make people say sorry for their mistakes.

When you love, you don’t need to be right. When you love, you realize that there may be no such thing as ‘right’ because you become more compassionate and understanding of the coherent buoyancy of differing points of view. This may compel you to offer an apology – verbally or mentally but always sincerely – to someone, because through love, you see that contrast, contradiction and variety is fundemental to the overall progress of love. It is not about switching to another side- it is simply that there are no sides, just different expressions and various catalysts for love. Even the ‘bad’ stuff can be a catalyst for love. If you can accept that, then you’ve got the dosage just right.

These have been the seven effects of love that ought to come with a warning label. Can you think of any more?

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Did you know that I have another blog about my adventures in California? If you like sun, surf and spirituality (and food!) come and check it out over at Sun, Spirit and San Diego.

Until Next Time: Give a dose of love to the world twice a day for a week and keep me posted on how you’re doing.

Next Time: L is for ‘Light’.

Come and gimme some love over at:

Sun, Spirit & San Diego

www.angellauren.com

www.facebook.com/laurenmedium

And get your daily love and happiness tweets @angellassie.

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J is for ‘Jobs’. (How to be happy at work and love your job.)

happy work job funny

Having a job that makes you happy is one of the most important aspects of leading a balanced life. I often say to my clients, ‘Do what you love or at least, love what you do,’ and that is going to be the topic of this post.

Every day of my life, I give thanks that I am able to work for myself in a career that supports my soul’s development, and that also allows me to assist other people with theirs. My journey towards self-employment as a spiritual advisor was a long but joyous one, and along the way, I worked at a variety of day-jobs to keep the bills paid and to fund my dream of working for myself. During that time, I worked as a financial advisor, customer service consultant, make-up artist and waitress, and each of these jobs taught me that my happiness at work was completely within my control, and wasn’t dependent on the job I was doing, as such. I also came to realize that, of course, it is important that there are ‘normal’ people out there who are doing spiritual work. But it may be more important that there are spiritual, positive and happy people out there doing ‘normal’ work; bringing their love, light and integrity to a variety of different jobs. It is those people, I believe, who incite positive social change and who are the spiritual foundations of our societies.

So to all of you who are teachers, carers, nurses, social workers, waiters, bar staff, customer service advisors, civil servants, chefs, cleaners, lorry drivers, politicians, soldiers, emergency service officers, security workers, taxi drivers and in any other profession that keeps our world ticking over, please know that your happiness at work is important – that you take your spirituality with you into work every day makes a significant difference to all of us. Thank you for doing what you do, and doing it with a smile on your face!

Do you have a top tip for being happy and fulfilled at work? Did you ever start a job and were pleasantly surprised by how happy it made you? Comment below and tell us how you stay happy in the workplace. Here are my top 5 tips on how to be happy at work, that I hope all of you will benefit from, whether you serve our food, patrol our streets, or operate on our brains!

Tip No. 1: If you can’t do what you love, at least love what you do.

Ok, so you didn’t manage to achieve your childhood dream of being the first astronaut to visit the Andromeda galaxy, but does that mean that you will never be happy in another career? What if I told you that your happiness at work is not to do with what job you do, but is determined by your decision, every day, to be positive and to give each task your best shot. If you make the decision to think of your job in a loving and appreciative way, your good feelings will rub off on your colleagues, making your place of work a happier place to be for everyone. You will enjoy your job more, simply when you choose to enjoy your job. Try this experiment:

Tomorrow, choose to go into work and do your absolute best, with the greatest care and effort that you can. Let me know in a comment how your day went, when you made the deliberate decision that your workplace is a happy place.

Did you notice a difference? So until NASA call to invite you to begin training for Andromeda, choose to make the best of what you have! And if something at work is really so bad that you really, really can’t be positive about it…then you need to give yourself permission to leave. Seriously, why would you choose that level of unhappiness for yourself?

Tip No. 2: Practice clear and open communication.

If you have something to say to your boss or a colleague, take the time to think it through and then just say it! Swallowing down your worries, concerns and criticisms is not healthy for you, nor is a lack of communication healthy for your workplace. Being unable or unwilling to express yourself can lead to feelings of resentment and isolation at work and that is definitely not conducive to your happiness! The fear of speaking up is often worse than the experience itself, and if you can be tactful about your communications then you will find that most bosses and colleagues are just people too and not the judgmental, angry monsters that our non-confrontational minds make them out to be. When you are afraid to communicate at work, it is really your thought about the outcome that you are afraid of. To work through this, deliberately visualize your boss or colleague responding in a loving and receptive way before you begin a communication with them- this positive expectation will open up the channels of communication between you both.

Tip No. 3: Do one thing every day that is beyond the call of duty.

It feels good to be deliberately helpful at work. If you show up to work willing to do a little extra, whether it’s helping a new-start, being flexible with shifts or meeting a tough deadline, you will give off a vibration that you are approachable, helpful and kind…those are good qualities to have. And when pay-rise or promotion time comes around, your record of work will be glowing. When you are helpful, you inspire your colleagues to follow suit. Kindness and generosity are contagious – try it and see!

Tip No. 4: Set realistic boundaries.

You may think that in order to be respected by your boss and others, you need to take on every bit of extra work that’s going. But this is not so. It is better to do 2 tasks excellently well than 5 tasks poorly. Be honest about what you can manage well and don’t be afraid to say no to extra work if it is too much: your boss and colleagues will respect your honesty and you won’t feeling like crying because of stress and pressure. This is very important in sustaining a healthy work/life balance.

Tip No. 5: Work with integrity.

Always work with integrity. If your workplace doesn’t treat you right, despite attempts to resolve issues, you should think about whether that really is the right place for you to work. Your health and happiness are more important than your job and you shouldn’t have to work someplace that doesn’t support your wellbeing. Try to avoid gossip, negativity, bullying and bitching – these also do not support your wellness at work. If your colleagues really don’t respect the workplace or each other and it’s really bringing you down, you may want to consider if that place of work is really what’s best for you. No job is worth the integrity of your soul. You may think, ‘I’d love to leave but there are no other jobs.’ And my only reply to that is ‘what you believe is what you receive’. If you affirm that there are no jobs then you make it much for difficult for the Universe to bring you meaningful work. Try, instead, to affirm what you do want:

I have a wonderful job that I am happy to get up for every day. My work pays well and supports my wellbeing.

Why shouldn’t you have this? A happy and healthy workplace is totally achievable for you, if you believe it is.

What do you do for a living? Do you think that it’s important to practice positivity and spirituality at work? Please leave me a comment- I’d love to hear all about how you make the most of your working day.

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Thank you to all of you who shared your joy with me in last week’s post – J is for ‘Joy’. I really enjoyed reading about the things that make you joyful. I am delighted to announce that the winner of a free reading with me is: Mia (Lights of Clarity)

I look forward to connecting with you Mia, and sharing the guidance of Spirit with you.

Until Next Time: Practice deliberate happiness at work and record any changes in how you feel about your job, and how your workmates treat you.

Next Time: K is for ‘Kindness’: (The power of deliberate acts of kindness.)

Come and gimme some love over at:

www.angellauren.com

www.facebook.com/laurenmedium

…and get your daily love and happiness tweets @angellassie.

F is for ‘Forgiveness’. 5 Reasons Why Forgiveness is the Best Revenge.

5 Reasons Why Forgiveness is the Best Revenge.

Forgiveness Freedom

So, what is so great about forgiveness? Can we really forgive and forget? Have you experienced the healing power of ‘forgiving yourself’?

Someone wise once told me: ‘Unforgiveness is like punching yourself in the face and expecting someone else to feel the pain.’ That being said, why is it that we often find it so difficult to forgive the past and move on with our lives? The answer, I believe, is because we get caught up in the erroneous idea that forgiving equals excusing, condoning or giving pardon to other people’s past behaviour that has really hurt us. When we have been really hurt by someone’s actions, we become so angry, and feel so betrayed and vulnerable, that we just want revenge. Sweet and slow revenge!!

When you have been badly hurt, forgiveness is the last thing on your mind (it’s ok to admit this, you are human!) – you want the perpetrator to understand the pain that they have caused, and to suffer as you have suffered: ‘An eye for an eye…’ and all that. You are so wounded that you cannot forgive and that unforgiveness is a strong fuel that powers your desire for revenge. You feel entitled to vengeance and dishing out retribution feels to be the only salve for your inflamed sense of hurt. And yet…you do nothing. You are a good person and you do not want to go to jail so you resist the urge to batter the perpetrator’s door down with an axe! You swallow down your anger, your hurt, and your need to administer suffering as you have suffered. Over time you get sick, maybe you get angrier, maybe you can’t form meaningful and loving relationships because you cannot trust that you won’t get hurt again. The unforgiveness becomes your dark and poisonous companion who builds a re-inforced wall between you and your natural resting-state of peace.

But it’s not too late to break down that wall! What if I told you that you can achieve the revenge you seek in a way that really will make you feel better, and for which you won’t go to jail? What if I could assure you that it is forgiveness itself, that is the best revenge for past hurts?

‘But what happened to me was really bad. He treated me like garbage, I was abused, I hate this person, I really don’t think I can forgive them.’ I hear you say. If that is so, then the weapon of forgiveness will be even more powerful for you, if you learn how to use it. Get ready to take back the sense of peace that is rightfully yours! Here are some examples of situations that hurt, and 5 reasons why forgiveness is the best revenge…

1. Forgiveness is the best revenge because there is nothing more infuriating to someone who would deliberately hurt you, than you moving on with your life and being happy.

What happened? : My boyfriend of two years cheated on me. I forgave him and I thought that because I had forgiven him, I should take him back. He cheated on me again. I was devastated and hurt and broke up with him immediately. I now hate him, I hate myself fo being such an idiot, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to forgive again. Forgiveness didn’t work for me.

Take revenge! : Forgive him again. Don’t get confused and think that forgiveness means that you have to take him back- it’s not so. True forgiveness actually has nothing to do with condoning the behaviour of a cheating ex. It’s all about you. The extent to which you are willing to forgive is simply the extent to which you are willing to keep giving your cheating ex control of your suffering.

Forgiveness = Taking Control.

When you forgive, you acknowledge that you have been hurt, and you make the choice that hurt will not continue to define you in the present. Of course, you are entitled to grieve when you have been hurt; let yourself get mad, get it all out of your system, and when you’re done, visualize the offender in your mind and say. ‘I forgive you. I release you. I release myself from your control.’ (Go here for more on positive affirmations.)

2. Forgiveness is the best revenge because you’ll live a longer and healthier life.

What happened? : My mother abandoned me as a child. She left when I was 3 years old and I never saw her again. I have felt bitterness towards her all my life. I have often thought about hurting her the way she hurt me. I don’t think I could ever forgive her.

Take revenge! : For a moment, lets forget that this is about your mother. Let’s forget that forgiveness is about anyone or anything outside of yourself. I want you to think about yourself only. Forgiveness is a process that you can go through to bring peace, contentment and physical wellness to yourself. Being in a constant state of unforgiveness is really bad for your health. The emotions associated with unforgiveness cause chemical, hormonal and immune changes in your body which, over an extended period of time, can make you physically ill. Don’t let the past ruin your present and future health. Forgiveness is as much an important part of your healthcare routine as brushing your teeth and eating well! Forgiveness benefits your health in a similar manner to kindness. For an in-depth look at the science behind the health benefits of forgiveness and kindness, head over to Dr David Hamilton’s website.

3. Forgiveness is the best revenge because when you forgive, you take back your own power.

What happened? : My ex-boss was such a bully. Every day he made embarrassing remarks to me and singled me out from the rest of my colleagues when he felt like taking out his rage on someone. I put up with this for 5 years before being made to feel so miserable that I had to leave a job that I essentially loved. I’ll never forgive him for that.

Take revenge! : When you choose to forgive, this is the best kind of revenge because you re-empower yourself. This empowerment comes from recognizing that you have a choice: You can choose to continue to feel hurt, resentful and angry, or, you can choose to take responsibility for your reaction and work on being a person who forgives, even if it is difficult. Recognizing that you have a choice is truly empowering. Bullying is a terrible thing and it is understandable that you would find it difficult to forgive- but ‘finding it difficult’ to forgive is a whole lot better than having no choice at all. You can always make the choice to forgive and release all the tension and anxiety within you, that is embodied by unforgiveness. When you choose to forgive a bully, you release yourself from the feeling of victimization and you can begin to heal. What could be more empowering than that? Give yourself love and positive acknowledgement when you are able to forgive, it is a big ask.

4. Forgiveness is the best revenge because learning how to forgive protects you from Forgiveness dove monkeyfuture hurts.

What happened? : I got scammed! Someone hacked into my bank account and withdrew all my money 4 days before Christmas. I have 2 kids and if it hadn’t been for the generosity of friends and family, Christmas would have been ruined. These soulless thieves left me broke. The people who did this have never been caught and I’m having difficulty forgiving because there has been no justice.

Take revenge! : Forgiveness is the best revenge here because when you forgive, you make space in your heart for two very important questions. First, did you learn anything from this experience? Second, (and this is a hard one!) Is there anything positive that you can take from this experience? If you can forgive, you will be able to see what can be learned. Forgiving, here, has nothing to do with forgiving bad actions, you are using forgiveness for you. Can you imagine forgiving stealing to the extent that you are able to see something very precious in the experience? Visualize having a conversation with the thieves. In your mind say: ‘I forgive you. I know you act out of fear. I wish you love and I hope that you can overcome the things that make you afraid.’ If you are able to do this, you will discover within yourself, that you can protect yourself from future hurts simply by deciding to be a person who forgives. You can choose to be a person who forgives no matter what, and in doing so, you protect yourself from future hurts which are deepened and extended by unforgiveness. Practice forgiving now and you will be able to cope, forgive, and move on in future. Forgiveness can only make you stronger and less fearful when applied in this way…try it!

5. Forgiveness is the best revenge because it really is the cure for feeling sad, angry, frustrated and hurt.

What happened? : My father passed away several years ago. We weren’t on good terms because he was largely absent from our lives when my brother and I were kids. The times when he was around, he was violent and angry. He never apologized or admitted his mistakes and now that he’s gone, I still can’t forgive him. I don’t believe he was sorry and now I’ll never know.

Take revenge! : Some people who hurt you cannot apologize because they have passed away. Some people who have hurt you will not apologize for various reasons. If forgiveness was dependent on the apologies of others, human beings would have blown the world up already. Think of forgiveness like the antidote to a poison. It doesn’t matter how much someone in the past has tried to poison you with anger, hurt, fear, bad behaviour, selfishness, insensitivity etc., you can choose to administer the antidote at any moment. Let that moment be now.

Until Next Week: Practice forgiveness whenever you can. Start with the person in the mirror. You deserve forgiveness, you are a good person, you don’t need to be so hard on yourself. Look in the mirror, put your hand over your heart and say, ‘I forgive you’.

Saw something particularly horrible in the news? Close your eyes and say ‘I forgive you’. Get familiar with what it means to forgive, what it feels like, and why it’s important.

Have you had any inspirational experiences with forgiveness? Is there something that you have struggled to forgive? Comment below- I’d love to read what you have to share.

click, circle, click to comment, comment

 

Next Week: G is for ‘Ghosts’. I will be conducting a video interview with a very special guest. We will be discussing many aspects of ghostly phenomena…not to be missed!

Come and gimme some love over at:

www.angellauren.com

www.facebook.com/laurenmedium

Get your daily love and happiness tweets @angellassie