Tag Archives: coaching

R is for ‘Responses’: You questioned, I answered.

Hello! My apologies that this post is arriving with you later than planned. Creating this podcast has been a learning experience for me as I had to do everything from scratch and it took me a while to get the hang of it! Before this, I had never worked with recording equipment or editing software. I had never done readings where people have written to me to ask for information, and I had never done readings where I couldn’t interact with the person I was reading for…so I have learned a lot from creating this recording! To those of you who wrote to me to ask for a reading or advice: thank you for your trust. I hope the information in the recording is helpful to you.

At the beginning of the podcast, I say that I’m going to speak about my most frequently asked questions. So many people wrote to me for advice that I didn’t get around to the FAQs within the hour, but they will be the subject of a future post so stay tuned!

Click ‘play’ to listen to the podcast in which I answer your questions (which were consistently about work and employment this time!)

Do you have a question or comment? Would you like a reading or some coaching advice in a future podcast?

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Intro track: Partial Relaxation by Cosmotose

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L is for ‘Love’: (Seven effects of love that ought to come with a warning label!)

pills, red, bottle, love, passion

Photo by Dominique Godbout.

When you experience love, it is like taking medicine for the first time. As you adjust to the changing presence of love in your heart, you may experience some ‘side effects’- just as you feel the effects when you introduce a new substance to your body. The effects of love are manifold, and some of love’s ‘side effects’ are unexpected and may be a big change from your usual feelings. If love could be bottled – like medicine – and consumed to be experienced, then the bottle should come with these ‘warning labels’ of love’s unexpected side effects:

!WARNING!: When you truly experience love, you may feel like being alone.

When you think of love, you think of sharing love with your partner, family and friends, right? But experiencing love may have the opposite effect on you. Love might cause you to lock your door, unplug your phone, switch off the internet and be non-contactable, even by smoke-signal, if you are adjusting to loving yourself. It is hard to love yourself if you feel that you must constantly be giving yourself to others. To be alone is to look within, to be at peace, and to promote self-knowledge. To be alone is to accept your own company as good company: there is love in that acceptance.

!WARNING! Living with love may make you more aggressive.

Do you think of love as something floaty and passive and saintly? What if I told you that when you choose to experience love, you may start to give a shit about things you’ve never cared about before? When you experience love, the first thing to be cured is apathy. The second thing, is the sense that we are all separate from each other. Don’t be surprised when you welcome love into your heart, you begin to think ‘what can I do to help?’, ‘how can I change this?’, ‘how can I make a difference?’- love feeds your inner eco-warrior, your inner samaritan and your inner Robin Hood.

!WARNING! When you experience love, you may notice spontaneous physical changes in your body.

Do you love doughnuts? Do you love booze? Do you love junk food? When you ramp up the dosage of love in your life, you may not love those things so much. A weird side effect of love is that you may start loving life, your health and yourself too much to still love eating that crap. When you take a new dose of love into your heart, ‘I feel like eating a salad’ may spontaneously run through your mind…just sayin’…

!WARNING! Choosing love may cause you to quit your job.

Love, if you let it, will eventually course through every vein of your life. If you start out doing a job that is on a non-loving vibration, and you subsequently introduce a higher dose of love into your life, you may see, quite frankly, that you job is a waste of what you have to give. You may come to realize that your job does not support your wellness; you may see clearly that it doesn’t support the planet’s wellness. It may dawn on you that your work has fallen out of sync with your soul’s needs. If so, use love’s inspiration to guide you towards what to do to put it right. (This happened to me, I used to work for a credit card company).

!WARNING! Living a life of love may make you re-think your entire life.

Woah! This can be scary…when you begin to live with regular supplements of love, it may cause you to take stock of your whole life. Your life is not compartmentalized, everything has a knock-on-effect on everything else. Love causes you to treat people differently- that in itself can have a massive effect on the quality of experiences in your life. Love wants you to do things that support your wellbeing. Love encourages you towards happiness and peace. Love shoves you in the direction of joy….and the dominos continue to tumble.

!WARNING! Love will make you more self-interested.

To many, love means being selfless, but when you have love in your life, how can you be selfless? You are the facilitator of love by your thoughts, intentions, words and actions. In order to facilitate love, you need to have an understanding of love and to understand love, you need to feel loved…how can you possibly offer something that you have never felt? Not only is it perfectly acceptable for you to receive love, but it is absolutely necessary. Love has the weird side-effect of causing you to cultivate an understanding of love for others by loving yourself.

!WARNING! Love has been known to make people say sorry for their mistakes.

When you love, you don’t need to be right. When you love, you realize that there may be no such thing as ‘right’ because you become more compassionate and understanding of the coherent buoyancy of differing points of view. This may compel you to offer an apology – verbally or mentally but always sincerely – to someone, because through love, you see that contrast, contradiction and variety is fundemental to the overall progress of love. It is not about switching to another side- it is simply that there are no sides, just different expressions and various catalysts for love. Even the ‘bad’ stuff can be a catalyst for love. If you can accept that, then you’ve got the dosage just right.

These have been the seven effects of love that ought to come with a warning label. Can you think of any more?

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Did you know that I have another blog about my adventures in California? If you like sun, surf and spirituality (and food!) come and check it out over at Sun, Spirit and San Diego.

Until Next Time: Give a dose of love to the world twice a day for a week and keep me posted on how you’re doing.

Next Time: L is for ‘Light’.

Come and gimme some love over at:

Sun, Spirit & San Diego

www.angellauren.com

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And get your daily love and happiness tweets @angellassie.

F is for ‘Forgiveness’. 5 Reasons Why Forgiveness is the Best Revenge.

5 Reasons Why Forgiveness is the Best Revenge.

Forgiveness Freedom

So, what is so great about forgiveness? Can we really forgive and forget? Have you experienced the healing power of ‘forgiving yourself’?

Someone wise once told me: ‘Unforgiveness is like punching yourself in the face and expecting someone else to feel the pain.’ That being said, why is it that we often find it so difficult to forgive the past and move on with our lives? The answer, I believe, is because we get caught up in the erroneous idea that forgiving equals excusing, condoning or giving pardon to other people’s past behaviour that has really hurt us. When we have been really hurt by someone’s actions, we become so angry, and feel so betrayed and vulnerable, that we just want revenge. Sweet and slow revenge!!

When you have been badly hurt, forgiveness is the last thing on your mind (it’s ok to admit this, you are human!) – you want the perpetrator to understand the pain that they have caused, and to suffer as you have suffered: ‘An eye for an eye…’ and all that. You are so wounded that you cannot forgive and that unforgiveness is a strong fuel that powers your desire for revenge. You feel entitled to vengeance and dishing out retribution feels to be the only salve for your inflamed sense of hurt. And yet…you do nothing. You are a good person and you do not want to go to jail so you resist the urge to batter the perpetrator’s door down with an axe! You swallow down your anger, your hurt, and your need to administer suffering as you have suffered. Over time you get sick, maybe you get angrier, maybe you can’t form meaningful and loving relationships because you cannot trust that you won’t get hurt again. The unforgiveness becomes your dark and poisonous companion who builds a re-inforced wall between you and your natural resting-state of peace.

But it’s not too late to break down that wall! What if I told you that you can achieve the revenge you seek in a way that really will make you feel better, and for which you won’t go to jail? What if I could assure you that it is forgiveness itself, that is the best revenge for past hurts?

‘But what happened to me was really bad. He treated me like garbage, I was abused, I hate this person, I really don’t think I can forgive them.’ I hear you say. If that is so, then the weapon of forgiveness will be even more powerful for you, if you learn how to use it. Get ready to take back the sense of peace that is rightfully yours! Here are some examples of situations that hurt, and 5 reasons why forgiveness is the best revenge…

1. Forgiveness is the best revenge because there is nothing more infuriating to someone who would deliberately hurt you, than you moving on with your life and being happy.

What happened? : My boyfriend of two years cheated on me. I forgave him and I thought that because I had forgiven him, I should take him back. He cheated on me again. I was devastated and hurt and broke up with him immediately. I now hate him, I hate myself fo being such an idiot, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to forgive again. Forgiveness didn’t work for me.

Take revenge! : Forgive him again. Don’t get confused and think that forgiveness means that you have to take him back- it’s not so. True forgiveness actually has nothing to do with condoning the behaviour of a cheating ex. It’s all about you. The extent to which you are willing to forgive is simply the extent to which you are willing to keep giving your cheating ex control of your suffering.

Forgiveness = Taking Control.

When you forgive, you acknowledge that you have been hurt, and you make the choice that hurt will not continue to define you in the present. Of course, you are entitled to grieve when you have been hurt; let yourself get mad, get it all out of your system, and when you’re done, visualize the offender in your mind and say. ‘I forgive you. I release you. I release myself from your control.’ (Go here for more on positive affirmations.)

2. Forgiveness is the best revenge because you’ll live a longer and healthier life.

What happened? : My mother abandoned me as a child. She left when I was 3 years old and I never saw her again. I have felt bitterness towards her all my life. I have often thought about hurting her the way she hurt me. I don’t think I could ever forgive her.

Take revenge! : For a moment, lets forget that this is about your mother. Let’s forget that forgiveness is about anyone or anything outside of yourself. I want you to think about yourself only. Forgiveness is a process that you can go through to bring peace, contentment and physical wellness to yourself. Being in a constant state of unforgiveness is really bad for your health. The emotions associated with unforgiveness cause chemical, hormonal and immune changes in your body which, over an extended period of time, can make you physically ill. Don’t let the past ruin your present and future health. Forgiveness is as much an important part of your healthcare routine as brushing your teeth and eating well! Forgiveness benefits your health in a similar manner to kindness. For an in-depth look at the science behind the health benefits of forgiveness and kindness, head over to Dr David Hamilton’s website.

3. Forgiveness is the best revenge because when you forgive, you take back your own power.

What happened? : My ex-boss was such a bully. Every day he made embarrassing remarks to me and singled me out from the rest of my colleagues when he felt like taking out his rage on someone. I put up with this for 5 years before being made to feel so miserable that I had to leave a job that I essentially loved. I’ll never forgive him for that.

Take revenge! : When you choose to forgive, this is the best kind of revenge because you re-empower yourself. This empowerment comes from recognizing that you have a choice: You can choose to continue to feel hurt, resentful and angry, or, you can choose to take responsibility for your reaction and work on being a person who forgives, even if it is difficult. Recognizing that you have a choice is truly empowering. Bullying is a terrible thing and it is understandable that you would find it difficult to forgive- but ‘finding it difficult’ to forgive is a whole lot better than having no choice at all. You can always make the choice to forgive and release all the tension and anxiety within you, that is embodied by unforgiveness. When you choose to forgive a bully, you release yourself from the feeling of victimization and you can begin to heal. What could be more empowering than that? Give yourself love and positive acknowledgement when you are able to forgive, it is a big ask.

4. Forgiveness is the best revenge because learning how to forgive protects you from Forgiveness dove monkeyfuture hurts.

What happened? : I got scammed! Someone hacked into my bank account and withdrew all my money 4 days before Christmas. I have 2 kids and if it hadn’t been for the generosity of friends and family, Christmas would have been ruined. These soulless thieves left me broke. The people who did this have never been caught and I’m having difficulty forgiving because there has been no justice.

Take revenge! : Forgiveness is the best revenge here because when you forgive, you make space in your heart for two very important questions. First, did you learn anything from this experience? Second, (and this is a hard one!) Is there anything positive that you can take from this experience? If you can forgive, you will be able to see what can be learned. Forgiving, here, has nothing to do with forgiving bad actions, you are using forgiveness for you. Can you imagine forgiving stealing to the extent that you are able to see something very precious in the experience? Visualize having a conversation with the thieves. In your mind say: ‘I forgive you. I know you act out of fear. I wish you love and I hope that you can overcome the things that make you afraid.’ If you are able to do this, you will discover within yourself, that you can protect yourself from future hurts simply by deciding to be a person who forgives. You can choose to be a person who forgives no matter what, and in doing so, you protect yourself from future hurts which are deepened and extended by unforgiveness. Practice forgiving now and you will be able to cope, forgive, and move on in future. Forgiveness can only make you stronger and less fearful when applied in this way…try it!

5. Forgiveness is the best revenge because it really is the cure for feeling sad, angry, frustrated and hurt.

What happened? : My father passed away several years ago. We weren’t on good terms because he was largely absent from our lives when my brother and I were kids. The times when he was around, he was violent and angry. He never apologized or admitted his mistakes and now that he’s gone, I still can’t forgive him. I don’t believe he was sorry and now I’ll never know.

Take revenge! : Some people who hurt you cannot apologize because they have passed away. Some people who have hurt you will not apologize for various reasons. If forgiveness was dependent on the apologies of others, human beings would have blown the world up already. Think of forgiveness like the antidote to a poison. It doesn’t matter how much someone in the past has tried to poison you with anger, hurt, fear, bad behaviour, selfishness, insensitivity etc., you can choose to administer the antidote at any moment. Let that moment be now.

Until Next Week: Practice forgiveness whenever you can. Start with the person in the mirror. You deserve forgiveness, you are a good person, you don’t need to be so hard on yourself. Look in the mirror, put your hand over your heart and say, ‘I forgive you’.

Saw something particularly horrible in the news? Close your eyes and say ‘I forgive you’. Get familiar with what it means to forgive, what it feels like, and why it’s important.

Have you had any inspirational experiences with forgiveness? Is there something that you have struggled to forgive? Comment below- I’d love to read what you have to share.

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Next Week: G is for ‘Ghosts’. I will be conducting a video interview with a very special guest. We will be discussing many aspects of ghostly phenomena…not to be missed!

Come and gimme some love over at:

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B is for ‘Books’: Spiritual Books that I Love!

These recommended books have made it on to my list for a variety of reasons. On this list you will find the amazing, the enlightening, and the downright life-changing! Love to read but not sure what to pick up next? If you passionately peruse the ‘mind, body & spirit’ section of your local bookstore then read on! These 20 books Magic Bookchanged my life and massively impacted my spiritual development and understanding in their own special way. It is with love and gratitude that I share them with you. Each of the titles are active links, click on them to find out more about these wonderful authors. Have you read a spiritual/self-help book that rocked your world? Let us know by clicking the comment bubble!

1. You Can Heal Your Life- Louise L. Hay.

Anything that I can say about this book will fall short of its true power. This is the seminal self help text. Louise’s work is the standard of love, giving, compassion and honesty that many of we writers in the genre aspire to. This book came to me when I was 21. I really needed some guidance as to how to be happy with myself and my life. I was in a place of fear and self-doubt and Louise’s guidance in You Can Heal Your Life snapped me out of it miraculously! I was delighted and honoured to finally meet Louise at I Can Do It- Glasgow in 2012. Over the years I have purchased 5 copies of this book, for various people in my life in their time of need. This book has united and re-united me with significant people in my life and most of all, has re-connected me with myself. Thank you Louise, you, your words and you philosophies are a game changer. Great for: Absolutely Everyone!

2. Seven Experiments That Could Change the World- Dr. Rupert Sheldrake.

My goodness, this book blew my mind. I feel such a sense of excitement when I come across a book that elegantly fuses spirituality and science. Dr Sheldrake does this effortlessly, intelligently and with feeling. Some of the highlights involve pigeons, dogs and telepathy. This book is a manifesto of the new and intuitively correct way of thinking that science and spirituality are co-creative friends and not enemies. He offers experiments with a ‘go ahead and try it, see for yourself!’ attitude, which is irresistible! Read it, it’s brilliant. Great for: Spiritual Scientists.

3. How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body- Dr David R. Hamilton.

Dr. Hamilton is my hero. He is a fellow Scot who has given me amazing advice (and has previously worked at my University!). This book is phenomenal. You will say ‘wow’ at some point when reading. His research into the placebo effect and the power of intention and visualization is fresh, evocative and exciting and the application of it has the potential to change the way we ‘think’ about wellness and treat dis-ease. Is your mind the most powerful medicine to ensure your wellness? Dr Hamilton and I think YES! and he expresses it beautifully. Great for: Anyone who wants to feel more empowered about their health.

4. Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway- Susan Jeffers.

Susuan Jeffers’ most well known work is so simple and effective. It explains fear and how to move forward from it, through questions. Questions which cause the book to become a mirror in which the readers is reflected in all his or her glory. It is a wonderful technique. Read this book and know yourself better. Great for: Anyone about to take a leap!

5. Many Lives, Many Masters- Dr Brian Weiss.

The most compelling thing about this book is that it is written by a man who you cannot help but trust and believe. He is so intelligent and sincere. Dr. Weiss was having difficulty treating one of his patients who was suffering from debilitating fear. He tried hypnosis as a last desperate attempt to understand his patient- you will be shocked and inspired by what happens next. Let me put it like this, if you have never believed in life after death or reincarnation, prepare to think differently! Great for: Anyone who has experienced deja-vu.

6. The Prophet- Khalil Gibran.

I think Khalil Gibran channeled the words of this book/poem. The resonance of the words are so high that they seem to be of Spirit. I won’t spoil it for you. Run a bath, light some candles and read it. Put it away for a day, then get it out and read it again. You’ll be moved. Great for: Lovers of Philosophy and Poetry.

7. The Road Less Travelled- M. Scott Peck.

An extremely interesting look into the human psyche, outlooks and behaviours. With anecdotes, brave comments and case studies. Although it is never expressed directly, this book has a very strong spiritual and loving vein running through it. This book is an excellent read which makes psychology and psychiatry an artform. Great for: Armchair Psychiartists.

8. Teen Witch- Silver RavenWolf.

I got this book when I was 15. When I decided to include it in this list, I had to search for it online to remind myself of the cover art. As soon as I saw the cover design, it was like looking into a box of photos and memories from my childhood: many emotions and feelings came rushing back. Teen Witch was the first book about spirituality that I ever read! This book is an introduction to magick for young people. It focuses significantly on nature, the earth and empowerment and that’s why I love it. This book really got me started on a spiritual path and I highly recommend it to any young person who has an interest in wicca or spirituality. Great for: Young Wiccans and Mother Earth lovers.

9. Ask and It Is Given- Esther & Jerry (Abraham) Hicks.

Want to know what is at the core of the Law of Attraction? Get this book. Esther Hicks channels the wisdom of Abraham to explain how Attraction works on a vibrational and energetic level. This book is not an easy read but stick with it, when you get familiar with the ideas, it will have a profound and empowering impact on you. Great for: The Law of Attraction.

10. A Course in Miracles- Dr. Helen Schucman

I am about half way through reading this book, at the time of writing this. Every sentence in ‘A Course in Miracles’ gives me the chills because it is so true, so inspiring and resonates so deeply. Great for: Remembering your God connection. (What could be greater?).

11. The Young Person’s Happiness Handbook- by Me!

I still cannot quite believe that my first book is due out in April! The process of devising and writing this book has been such an amazing experience for me that it had to go on the list! This book is a smart and savvy self-help guide for young people. The focus is on navigating the challenges and achievements of a young adult life with love, awareness, spirituality and humour. I have written the book that I wish someone had written for me when I was 18! Stay tuned for launch date confirmation and your chance to win a free copy! Great for: The young in body and young in spirit!

12. The Alchemist- Paulo Coelho

A wonderful parable and beautiful story. This book has two personalities: The Alchemist before you know the ending, and The Alchemist the second time around! Great for: All you dreamers and mystics!

13. Eat Pray Love- Elizabeth Gilbert.

I laughed, cried and rejoiced along with Liz in this beautiful travel/docu/novel. Liz’s literal and spiritual journey is a whirlwind of beauty, bravery and feeling that many readers will relate to. She writes candidly and insightfully. Julia Roberts plays Liz in the movie adaptation, which I enjoyed, but the book is really something special. Great for: Anyone who has experienced heartbreak.

14. The Lightworker’s Way- Dr. Doreen Virtue.

This is one of Dr Virtue’s earliest works which utilizes a mix of her life experiences, spiritual philosophies and good old love and support to reach out to the ‘Lightworker’ in every reader. Want to see yourself in a more powerful and loving way? You will when you discover the Lightworker within with the help of Dr. Virtue. Great for: Improving low self esteem.

15. Tao Te Ching- Lao Tzu (interpretation by Dr. Wayne Dyer).

One of the oldest books in the world (not my exact copy, it was printed in 2012!) but the messages contained within are timeless. There are some famous phrases in the Tao Te Ching that really stop a racing mind in its tracks and gives it something nutritious to eat. Read it slowly and mull it over. Great for: The deeply philosophical.

16. The Shack- William P. Young.

This is a wonderful and (true?) story about a man who receives an explanation from God about the ‘why’ behind his personal suffering. Get the tissues at the ready and read from the heart. Great for: Opening the mind and heart.

17. Freedom From the Known- Jiddu Krishnamurti.

A clear thinker and wonderfully insightful, spiritual being gives insight about releasing fear and embracing love and self-knowledge. Think you know about love, passion, knowledge, violence and change? This book will enrich your thinking, and if you allow it, your way of living. Great for: Anyone who desires a new or deeper spiritual understanding.

18. Intuitive Studies- Gordon Smith.

I have read A LOT of books about developing mediumship. This book is the most recent I have read, and the best. Gordon Smith is wise, caring and fearless in his explanation and direction for anyone who wants to improve their connection to God and the Spirit world. I have been a medium for 10 years, and I learned so much from this book. Whether you are brand new to mediumship or are looking to approach your mediumship from a fresh, real and enlightened place, read this book, it’s brilliant. Great for: Mediums old and new!

19. Paradise Lost- John Milton.

It may surprise you that Paradise Lost has made it on to this list! It is a formidable force of a poem, and apart from its religious content, you may not think of it as being a very spiritual book. I approached this poem through my University degree, but I had been certificated as an Angel Therapy Practitioner for 3 years already! Having the opportunity to meet the Archangels in a completely different context really helped me to understand them better, it helped me to understand how other people might think about the Angels, and it allowed me to appreciate how the Archangels can assist us in ways that I hadn’t considered before! Paradise Lost is not an easy read, but it is well worth it. The descriptions of the layers of spiritual realms is really insightful and the Angel imagery featured I definitely feel manifested in Milton’s imagination from the Angels themselves. Read it and see. Great for: Those who enjoy a challenging read.

20. Looking Back- Arthur Findlay.

I have a very special place in my heart for J. Arthur Findlay. He is considered one of the most influential men in Spiritualism, and he lived in my hometown, a tiny town in Scotland. Arthur Findlay is best known for donating his absolutely beautiful stately home in Stansted, England, to the study, discovery, development and proving of psychic and mediumistic phenomena. His home is now known as ‘Arthur Findlay College’, where I spent a very happy week obtaining advanced training in mediumship. ‘Looking Back’ is Arthur Findlay’s autobiography which charts his remarkable journey from layman to Spiritualist, through the words of a clever, sceptical and scientific mind. Looking Back is a great read. It is a big thick book, but it’s exciting and interesting so you’ll get through it in no time! Great for: The open-minded sceptic.

I am sure that you will enjoy these recommendations. Read any of these books? Loved them? Didn’t love them? Got recommendations of your own for Spiritual readers? Please share your knowledge in a comment!

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This week, treat yourself to some alone time reading for pleasure.

Next Week: C is for ‘Children’.

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