Tag Archives: life coaching

J is for ‘Jobs’. (How to be happy at work and love your job.)

happy work job funny

Having a job that makes you happy is one of the most important aspects of leading a balanced life. I often say to my clients, ‘Do what you love or at least, love what you do,’ and that is going to be the topic of this post.

Every day of my life, I give thanks that I am able to work for myself in a career that supports my soul’s development, and that also allows me to assist other people with theirs. My journey towards self-employment as a spiritual advisor was a long but joyous one, and along the way, I worked at a variety of day-jobs to keep the bills paid and to fund my dream of working for myself. During that time, I worked as a financial advisor, customer service consultant, make-up artist and waitress, and each of these jobs taught me that my happiness at work was completely within my control, and wasn’t dependent on the job I was doing, as such. I also came to realize that, of course, it is important that there are ‘normal’ people out there who are doing spiritual work. But it may be more important that there are spiritual, positive and happy people out there doing ‘normal’ work; bringing their love, light and integrity to a variety of different jobs. It is those people, I believe, who incite positive social change and who are the spiritual foundations of our societies.

So to all of you who are teachers, carers, nurses, social workers, waiters, bar staff, customer service advisors, civil servants, chefs, cleaners, lorry drivers, politicians, soldiers, emergency service officers, security workers, taxi drivers and in any other profession that keeps our world ticking over, please know that your happiness at work is important – that you take your spirituality with you into work every day makes a significant difference to all of us. Thank you for doing what you do, and doing it with a smile on your face!

Do you have a top tip for being happy and fulfilled at work? Did you ever start a job and were pleasantly surprised by how happy it made you? Comment below and tell us how you stay happy in the workplace. Here are my top 5 tips on how to be happy at work, that I hope all of you will benefit from, whether you serve our food, patrol our streets, or operate on our brains!

Tip No. 1: If you can’t do what you love, at least love what you do.

Ok, so you didn’t manage to achieve your childhood dream of being the first astronaut to visit the Andromeda galaxy, but does that mean that you will never be happy in another career? What if I told you that your happiness at work is not to do with what job you do, but is determined by your decision, every day, to be positive and to give each task your best shot. If you make the decision to think of your job in a loving and appreciative way, your good feelings will rub off on your colleagues, making your place of work a happier place to be for everyone. You will enjoy your job more, simply when you choose to enjoy your job. Try this experiment:

Tomorrow, choose to go into work and do your absolute best, with the greatest care and effort that you can. Let me know in a comment how your day went, when you made the deliberate decision that your workplace is a happy place.

Did you notice a difference? So until NASA call to invite you to begin training for Andromeda, choose to make the best of what you have! And if something at work is really so bad that you really, really can’t be positive about it…then you need to give yourself permission to leave. Seriously, why would you choose that level of unhappiness for yourself?

Tip No. 2: Practice clear and open communication.

If you have something to say to your boss or a colleague, take the time to think it through and then just say it! Swallowing down your worries, concerns and criticisms is not healthy for you, nor is a lack of communication healthy for your workplace. Being unable or unwilling to express yourself can lead to feelings of resentment and isolation at work and that is definitely not conducive to your happiness! The fear of speaking up is often worse than the experience itself, and if you can be tactful about your communications then you will find that most bosses and colleagues are just people too and not the judgmental, angry monsters that our non-confrontational minds make them out to be. When you are afraid to communicate at work, it is really your thought about the outcome that you are afraid of. To work through this, deliberately visualize your boss or colleague responding in a loving and receptive way before you begin a communication with them- this positive expectation will open up the channels of communication between you both.

Tip No. 3: Do one thing every day that is beyond the call of duty.

It feels good to be deliberately helpful at work. If you show up to work willing to do a little extra, whether it’s helping a new-start, being flexible with shifts or meeting a tough deadline, you will give off a vibration that you are approachable, helpful and kind…those are good qualities to have. And when pay-rise or promotion time comes around, your record of work will be glowing. When you are helpful, you inspire your colleagues to follow suit. Kindness and generosity are contagious – try it and see!

Tip No. 4: Set realistic boundaries.

You may think that in order to be respected by your boss and others, you need to take on every bit of extra work that’s going. But this is not so. It is better to do 2 tasks excellently well than 5 tasks poorly. Be honest about what you can manage well and don’t be afraid to say no to extra work if it is too much: your boss and colleagues will respect your honesty and you won’t feeling like crying because of stress and pressure. This is very important in sustaining a healthy work/life balance.

Tip No. 5: Work with integrity.

Always work with integrity. If your workplace doesn’t treat you right, despite attempts to resolve issues, you should think about whether that really is the right place for you to work. Your health and happiness are more important than your job and you shouldn’t have to work someplace that doesn’t support your wellbeing. Try to avoid gossip, negativity, bullying and bitching – these also do not support your wellness at work. If your colleagues really don’t respect the workplace or each other and it’s really bringing you down, you may want to consider if that place of work is really what’s best for you. No job is worth the integrity of your soul. You may think, ‘I’d love to leave but there are no other jobs.’ And my only reply to that is ‘what you believe is what you receive’. If you affirm that there are no jobs then you make it much for difficult for the Universe to bring you meaningful work. Try, instead, to affirm what you do want:

I have a wonderful job that I am happy to get up for every day. My work pays well and supports my wellbeing.

Why shouldn’t you have this? A happy and healthy workplace is totally achievable for you, if you believe it is.

What do you do for a living? Do you think that it’s important to practice positivity and spirituality at work? Please leave me a comment- I’d love to hear all about how you make the most of your working day.

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Thank you to all of you who shared your joy with me in last week’s post – J is for ‘Joy’. I really enjoyed reading about the things that make you joyful. I am delighted to announce that the winner of a free reading with me is: Mia (Lights of Clarity)

I look forward to connecting with you Mia, and sharing the guidance of Spirit with you.

Until Next Time: Practice deliberate happiness at work and record any changes in how you feel about your job, and how your workmates treat you.

Next Time: K is for ‘Kindness’: (The power of deliberate acts of kindness.)

Come and gimme some love over at:

www.angellauren.com

www.facebook.com/laurenmedium

…and get your daily love and happiness tweets @angellassie.

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J is for ‘Joy’. (Six unexpected reasons why finding joy is a necessity and not a luxury.)

Joy, happy, smile, smiling, dog

The irony about finding joy is that you will often find it when you stop searching for it. We often (mistakenly) search for joy in activities such as earning more and more money for no reason, or stressing about planning our future happiness. Although it seems a good idea to try to make sure that our future is joyful, do not underestimate the power of just kicking back and allowing a moment of joy right here, right now.

In celebration of the joy of giving, I am giving away a full psychic reading, free! To win, all you have to do is reply to this post with a comment about what makes your heart filled with joy. I’ll announce the winner on next week’s post.

So anyway, back to joy. Joy is a necessity and here’s why:

1. Joy is good for your health!

A little burst of joy on a regular basis supports your long-term health. Happy hormones that are released when you experience joy do wonders for your immune system, stress levels, the rate at which you age, your cardio-respiratory health and your mental and emotional health. Make time, every day, to do something that makes you joyful. Savour the feeling and allow yourself the experience without guilt. In my opinion, doctors the world over should be prescribing bouts of joy for a long and healthy life.

2. When you allow yourself to experience joy, it is an act of appreciation for your life.

Sometimes we forget to appreciate our lives. My boyfriend will tell you that I love a good moan about stuff. It’s true…I catch myself doing it…but then I stop and remember how fortunate I am to be alive and to have so many wonderful people in my life, and so many fantastic opportunities, and I go about my day with renewed joy. You may sometimes feel that you don’t deserve joy. You may have feelings of regret, guilt or shame which have caused you to forget that there is any such thing as joy. If this sounds like you, then you may have to force yourself to make a conscious effort to re-connect with joy, and that effort, may involve a lot of changes. You ARE worth the effort. To be happy and content is your natural state, and is the state in which you will thrive – it’s worth putting the effort in to get there. You have overcome unbelievable odds to be sitting where you are, reading this blog, having food in your tummy and air in your lungs. Can you set off on your ‘joy journey’ by feeling a flicker of joy in simply being alive?

3. A joyful experience encourages more joy into your life.

Ah, the good old Law of Attraction. Like attracts like. The Universe responds to you by reflecting your reality based on who you are inside. If you are unhappy, the Universe can only reflect reasons for you to be unhappy. The good news is that the only thing that stands between you and joy are your thoughts. Think deliberately about joy, behave in a joyful way, treat others in a way that makes them joyful, and the Universe will reflect joy right back at you. It must.

4. Joy is contagious: Your joy encourages good feelings in others.

When you smile at someone, they compulsively smile back. It’s an inbuilt response. When we exchange smiles, we can identify allies, friends, and a potential mate. All you have to do is smile and you bring comfort, re-assurance, ease and joy to others. The feelings that we choose to experience are contagious. Those who are closest to us cannot help but be infected by our moods. When you choose joy for yourself, you also bring joy to your loved ones. No true act of joy is ever a selfish act.

5. Joyfulness is the needle of your internal compass.

Imagine if life were as simple as this:

If it brings you joy, do it. If it doesn’t bring you joy, don’t do it.

Well guess what? Life can be as simple as this. In fact, you may already be using joy as your internal compass without realizing it! The joy of some things are hidden so think carefully:

Is there something in your life that’s difficult, stressful or challenging, but you keep doing it anyway? Can you find joy somewhere in the process?

If the answer is yes, then great! You’re following your joy. If the answer is no, then do you think you would be more joyful if you stopped doing that thing? If the answer is yes, then give yourself permission to stop doing it.

Let the compass of joy guide you always down a road of happiness, and let the compass of fear be trampled under-foot…because it dropped out of your pocket…and you didn’t notice…because you were too busy looking at your compass of joy!

6. When you allow yourself to be joyful, you are teaching your children to be joyful too.

Do you have young people in your life? When you express joy, you teach them to live a joyful life. If you live without joy, then you teach them that it’s ok to live a joyless life – and I know you don’t want them taking that message into adulthood. ‘Do as I say and not as I do’ doesn’t fly anymore I’m afraid, so if you want the kids to know joy, you have to show them how it’s done.

This post is dedicated to my friend Joy Fraser, who truly is Joy by name, Joy by nature. Please visit her website Peace, Harmony and Joy where she also writes a wonderful blog.

Until Next Time: Do I really need to say it? Get out there and be joyful!

Next Week: J is for ‘Jobs’: (How to work in spirituality, or, bring spirituality into work.)

Come and gimme some love over at:

www.angellauren.com

www.facebook.com/laurenmedium

And get your daily love and happiness tweets @angellassie.

H is for ‘Happiness’. Is there a secret to being happy?

Is there a secret to being happy? I used to think that happiness was a property possessed by people, places, things, habits and distractions. I used to think that to be happy, I had to have all of those things in my life. Imagine my shock and surprise when, the more I tried to cram ‘happiness things’ into my life, the less happy I felt.

Now that I am a little older and wiser, I have learned that happiness isn’t a property of anything outside of myself. Happiness is a property of me- if I choose it to be so. And happiness is a property of you- if you choose it to be so.

Happiness is a lens that you click over the camera of your consciousness. It is a way in which you choose to see the world. Happiness is a repetitive choice- if you wanna be happy, you gotta keep choosing to be happy, and here’s something that was a real revelation to me:

You can be happy, and still give yourself permission to feel other emotions. Happiness is NOT the repression of other feelings: it is the loving acceptance of all your feelings (and your beautiful self, more generally!)

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Happiness is being so so comfy in bed. Photograph used with kind permission from Jassy Earl @ http://www.jassyearlphotography.co.uk/

 

The thoughts you choose to think influence the way you understand the world: fact. If you wake up in the morning and immediately think, ‘I’m tired.’; ‘I’m miserable.’; ‘ I’m stressed.’;  ‘I have too much to do today.’; ‘I don’t want to go to this meeting.’; ‘I don’t like my job.
‘I’m dreading getting stuck in traffic.’; ‘ I’m always running late.’; ‘I look bloated today.’, etc. etc., then you are creating your world within a framework of negativity. A good technique to encourage happiness into your life is to bring positivity into your morning routine. Consider ‘deliberate positive thinking’ as important to your daily routine as brushing your teeth! Deliberately think about something positive right now. ‘Today is going to be a great day!’; ‘I look beautiful today.’; ‘I am a walking success!’; there’s a few to get you started! My personal favourite right now is simply:

I deserve happiness.

Go ahead and try that one on for size. Thinking positive is like going to the gym- it might take some time for you to get into the habit of it, but keep practicing.  Every time you choose to think positively, it’s a win for ‘happiness’. Think of it as those one or two extra reps at the gym – they are a worthwhile effort.

So what about when you don’t feel happy? Well here’s a thought: Worry, for example, is a state of mind that can only be achieved when thinking about the past or the future (as is fear, disappointment or anger). We worry about what has been, how we’ve been treated, how we’ve reacted.  We worry about past events, people in our past and past decisions we have made.

Or we worry about the future.  We worry about the rest of the day, the rest of the week, month, year- we worry about the rest of our lives that haven’t happened yet!

If you are worrying- or experiencing any fear-based emotion- then you are either living in the past that cannot be changed, no matter how much you worry about it, or, living in the future, and worrying about something that has not happened yet, and may never happen!  Fortunately, there is a place where worry does not exist.  You’re in it right now.  Right here, right now, in this present moment.

Close your eyes and take a deep breath, feel your whole body relax: everything is at peace.

When you catch yourself worrying or getting stessed out, bring your mind back to the present moment.  Take a few deep and natural breaths, and focus on your body, your breathing, your heartbeat. In the here and now, there is nothing to worry about. When you begin to worry, focus your mind on something beautiful in the present moment; look out the window at nature, think about something that makes you laugh, think about someone that you love. Happiness and contentment come very easily when we give ourselves permission to exist in the present moment.

What does your inner critic say about you? In order to be happy, you must have a good relationship with your inner ‘self’, perhaps you call that ‘self’ your ego. Be aware of what you think about yourself.  When you criticize yourself, you bring your energy way out of alignment with happiness.  If you think negative things about yourself, then you are thinking in a way that suggests that you don’t feel you deserve happiness.  Don’t be an enemy to yourself, instead, be your own best friend.  Think, speak, and act towards yourself, the way that you would act towards someone you love very much. Look in the mirror. The person looking back is a person with feelings, who is vulnerable, who will flourish like a flower when watered by love. You must count yourself amongst the people in your life that you love.  Speak to yourself in the way that you would speak to your best friend. You wouldn’t criticize them, speak badly of them and be unsupportive of them, would you?  Of course not! So why do those things to yourself?

Every day, look in the mirror and say, ‘I love you.’ And really mean it.

Choose to focus on your good qualities and the things you like about yourself. Think about those instead of criticizing yourself. If you catch yourself thinking something critical about you, then you have to think three positive and genuine things that you love about yourself to balance up the scales of happiness (hey, I don’t make the rules!). To make the most of the happiness that the world has to offer you, you must also think happy about yourself.

It is scientifically proven that being kind to others, receiving kindness from others, and even watching people be kind to each other, is good for your health! To be happy, you must be kind. Perform an act of kindness every day. It need not be a massive gesture, kindness comes in many forms, and as little effort as it takes to smile at someone in the street can help them remember their own inner happiness. Take a moment to reflect on the kindnesses that you have performed, because, guess what?, even thinking about being kind is good for you! As you consciously make kindness a part of your life, happiness will follow. Kindness and happiness are siblings who do everything together.

A great way to make room in your heart for happiness is to practise forgiveness. Believe it or not, making mistakes in life is allowed! It may also surprise you to know that when you make a mistake, you are not obliged to replay it over and over in your mind and hang on to it for the rest of your life!

Forgive yourself. Don’t beat yourself up about things. It wastes your energy and does not help you to feel better. Unforgiveness actually prevents you from experiencing happiness! For more on this, see my post on forgiveness. Forgiving yourself allows you to move forward into a place of increased happiness as you let go of some emotional baggage.

If you feel yourself getting stressed, worked up, unhappy or angry about something in your life, that is ok.  Accept the emotion, forgive the emotion, and just breathe!  There are many mental, emotional and physical benefits achieved just from taking a nice, deep breath.  Breathing helps you to become calm, it allows more oxygen to your brain and brings you back into the present moment.  For a quick fix of happiness, no matter what is going on around you, just take a nice, deep breath, in through your nose, expanding your ribcage and your tummy as you do, and out through your mouth, visualizing all your stresses being expelled by your breath.  Repeat a few times, and feel calmness and happiness return.

The best way to bring happiness into your life is to be grateful for what you have that already makes you happy! When you get snuggled into your pyjamas and get warm under the duvet, take a few minutes to list the things in your life that you are grateful for. For more on this, see my post about gratitude. What are you grateful for today?

Until next week: Do one thing every day that makes you happy. Do it with gusto. Savour it. Enjoy it. Appreciate it.

Next Week: H is for Healing.

Come and gimme some love over at:

www.angellauren.com

www.facebook.com/laurenmedium

Get your daily love and happiness tweets @angellassie.