Tag Archives: motivational

S is for ‘Synchronicity’: The Weird Feeling That It’s Just Meant To Be.

S is for ‘Synchronicity’ audio transmission (From Angels to Zen).

There are so many great words that begin with S: Spirit. Saviour. Sexy. Sensual. Steady. Sincere. Simple. Sublime. I settled on ‘synchronicity’ because it incorporates all of those things.

For my twenty-fourth birthday, my mother offered to take me to the Arthur Findlay College of Psychic Studies. At this point, I was ten years into my deliberate intuitive development. I had trusted Spirit, been guided by my feelings, studied books and listened to feedback but I hadn’t received much in the way of ‘official’ tuition. I had heard of the Arthur Findlay College and I was aware of its reputation as the best school in the world for developing psychics and mediums.

I was desperate to go.

Arthur Findlay, psychic, medium, mediumship

Arthur Findlay College a.k.a Stansted Hall circa. 2009.

I picked a week-long course and my mother gave me a book to read: Looking Back by James Arthur Findlay.

It was a huge tome, about the life and times of the man who had left his stately home in Stansted, England to the advancement of psychical research. After his passing in 1964, his home became the Arthur Findlay College. I settled down on my sofa bed in my one bedroom flat, to spend some time getting to know Mr. Findlay before visiting Stansted Hall. I had been engrossed in his story of religion, scepticism, evidence, mediumship and belief, for several hours. My hungry reading was brought to a standstill, however, by a page that featured a letter sent to Mr. Findlay. I stared at it for a long moment, immobilized, enveloped, filled up, by the pure soft fabric of synchronicity…

page, book, arthur findlay, glasses, focus

It reads ‘J. Arthur Findlay, Woodside House, Beith’.

The letter was addressed to Mr Findlay at Woodside House, Beith. Beith is a tiny town in the west of Scotland. Beith is 310 miles away from Stansted Hall in England. Beith is my home – it’s where I grew up. Beith is where I went to school. As a child, I played in the grounds of Woodside House, where Mr Findlay once lived.

I got synchro-chills all over. I experienced a strong awareness that Mr Findlay’s life and mine were inextricably linked – that he, I, this book and this town were somehow in it together and that, without knowing, we were very, very important to each other. I felt a deeply comforting sense that something very personal and Universal, important and natural, grand and yet careful was going on. For a moment I felt that his spirit was my spirit was all our spirits. I could picture him smiling; guiding me on the path that was uncannily like his own, having a good laugh at my bewilderment at the connection – the discovery – I’d just made.

That feeling is wonderful. That feeling of being guided. Being expansive. Being on purpose. That feeling of ‘I’m meant to be’, that feeling that perhaps what life has in store for me without my interference, is better than what I’m capable of choosing for myself. That feeling of ‘thank you’ I see you. The feeling that the Universe has invested deeply and fully in me. That feeling of, ‘ok, that was weird’. The thrill of feeling so lovingly connected over space and time. The comfort of knowing there is a flow, and the relief at receiving permission to stop struggling and just get in it. To me, synchronicity is that permission. It’s the Universe saying ‘we’ve got this, let go.’

I can honestly say that every significant, wonderful, fulfilling thing that’s ever happened in my life has come to be through odds-defying synchronicity. Not planning, not trying, not worrying, not aiming. Just being, recognizing and appreciating.

Try it. Stop. Breathe. Let go. You are already being guided.

I’d love to know your thoughts on the subject of synchronicity. Have you ever experienced a strange ‘coincidence’ that changed the course of your life? Have you felt the synchro-chills? Why do we have synchronicity? What’s your theory? Deposit your wisdom here…

click, circle, click to comment, comment

This post is dedicated to James Arthur Findlay who returned to the Spirit world on 24th July 1964, and whose life and work has inspired me so much.

Next week on From Angels To Zen, I interview Robin and Sandra Foy, two quarters of The Scole Experiment who, in the 1990s, achieved some of the best evidence for life after death ever recorded. Twenty years on, we talk physical mediumship, interdimensional communication, the philosophy of energy and effective techniques for experimenting with Spirit. I hope you’ll join us, this is not to be missed!

In the meantime, come join the party at facebook.com/laurenmedium or tweet me @angellassie.

H is for ‘Happiness’. Is there a secret to being happy?

Is there a secret to being happy? I used to think that happiness was a property possessed by people, places, things, habits and distractions. I used to think that to be happy, I had to have all of those things in my life. Imagine my shock and surprise when, the more I tried to cram ‘happiness things’ into my life, the less happy I felt.

Now that I am a little older and wiser, I have learned that happiness isn’t a property of anything outside of myself. Happiness is a property of me- if I choose it to be so. And happiness is a property of you- if you choose it to be so.

Happiness is a lens that you click over the camera of your consciousness. It is a way in which you choose to see the world. Happiness is a repetitive choice- if you wanna be happy, you gotta keep choosing to be happy, and here’s something that was a real revelation to me:

You can be happy, and still give yourself permission to feel other emotions. Happiness is NOT the repression of other feelings: it is the loving acceptance of all your feelings (and your beautiful self, more generally!)

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Happiness is being so so comfy in bed. Photograph used with kind permission from Jassy Earl @ http://www.jassyearlphotography.co.uk/

 

The thoughts you choose to think influence the way you understand the world: fact. If you wake up in the morning and immediately think, ‘I’m tired.’; ‘I’m miserable.’; ‘ I’m stressed.’;  ‘I have too much to do today.’; ‘I don’t want to go to this meeting.’; ‘I don’t like my job.
‘I’m dreading getting stuck in traffic.’; ‘ I’m always running late.’; ‘I look bloated today.’, etc. etc., then you are creating your world within a framework of negativity. A good technique to encourage happiness into your life is to bring positivity into your morning routine. Consider ‘deliberate positive thinking’ as important to your daily routine as brushing your teeth! Deliberately think about something positive right now. ‘Today is going to be a great day!’; ‘I look beautiful today.’; ‘I am a walking success!’; there’s a few to get you started! My personal favourite right now is simply:

I deserve happiness.

Go ahead and try that one on for size. Thinking positive is like going to the gym- it might take some time for you to get into the habit of it, but keep practicing.  Every time you choose to think positively, it’s a win for ‘happiness’. Think of it as those one or two extra reps at the gym – they are a worthwhile effort.

So what about when you don’t feel happy? Well here’s a thought: Worry, for example, is a state of mind that can only be achieved when thinking about the past or the future (as is fear, disappointment or anger). We worry about what has been, how we’ve been treated, how we’ve reacted.  We worry about past events, people in our past and past decisions we have made.

Or we worry about the future.  We worry about the rest of the day, the rest of the week, month, year- we worry about the rest of our lives that haven’t happened yet!

If you are worrying- or experiencing any fear-based emotion- then you are either living in the past that cannot be changed, no matter how much you worry about it, or, living in the future, and worrying about something that has not happened yet, and may never happen!  Fortunately, there is a place where worry does not exist.  You’re in it right now.  Right here, right now, in this present moment.

Close your eyes and take a deep breath, feel your whole body relax: everything is at peace.

When you catch yourself worrying or getting stessed out, bring your mind back to the present moment.  Take a few deep and natural breaths, and focus on your body, your breathing, your heartbeat. In the here and now, there is nothing to worry about. When you begin to worry, focus your mind on something beautiful in the present moment; look out the window at nature, think about something that makes you laugh, think about someone that you love. Happiness and contentment come very easily when we give ourselves permission to exist in the present moment.

What does your inner critic say about you? In order to be happy, you must have a good relationship with your inner ‘self’, perhaps you call that ‘self’ your ego. Be aware of what you think about yourself.  When you criticize yourself, you bring your energy way out of alignment with happiness.  If you think negative things about yourself, then you are thinking in a way that suggests that you don’t feel you deserve happiness.  Don’t be an enemy to yourself, instead, be your own best friend.  Think, speak, and act towards yourself, the way that you would act towards someone you love very much. Look in the mirror. The person looking back is a person with feelings, who is vulnerable, who will flourish like a flower when watered by love. You must count yourself amongst the people in your life that you love.  Speak to yourself in the way that you would speak to your best friend. You wouldn’t criticize them, speak badly of them and be unsupportive of them, would you?  Of course not! So why do those things to yourself?

Every day, look in the mirror and say, ‘I love you.’ And really mean it.

Choose to focus on your good qualities and the things you like about yourself. Think about those instead of criticizing yourself. If you catch yourself thinking something critical about you, then you have to think three positive and genuine things that you love about yourself to balance up the scales of happiness (hey, I don’t make the rules!). To make the most of the happiness that the world has to offer you, you must also think happy about yourself.

It is scientifically proven that being kind to others, receiving kindness from others, and even watching people be kind to each other, is good for your health! To be happy, you must be kind. Perform an act of kindness every day. It need not be a massive gesture, kindness comes in many forms, and as little effort as it takes to smile at someone in the street can help them remember their own inner happiness. Take a moment to reflect on the kindnesses that you have performed, because, guess what?, even thinking about being kind is good for you! As you consciously make kindness a part of your life, happiness will follow. Kindness and happiness are siblings who do everything together.

A great way to make room in your heart for happiness is to practise forgiveness. Believe it or not, making mistakes in life is allowed! It may also surprise you to know that when you make a mistake, you are not obliged to replay it over and over in your mind and hang on to it for the rest of your life!

Forgive yourself. Don’t beat yourself up about things. It wastes your energy and does not help you to feel better. Unforgiveness actually prevents you from experiencing happiness! For more on this, see my post on forgiveness. Forgiving yourself allows you to move forward into a place of increased happiness as you let go of some emotional baggage.

If you feel yourself getting stressed, worked up, unhappy or angry about something in your life, that is ok.  Accept the emotion, forgive the emotion, and just breathe!  There are many mental, emotional and physical benefits achieved just from taking a nice, deep breath.  Breathing helps you to become calm, it allows more oxygen to your brain and brings you back into the present moment.  For a quick fix of happiness, no matter what is going on around you, just take a nice, deep breath, in through your nose, expanding your ribcage and your tummy as you do, and out through your mouth, visualizing all your stresses being expelled by your breath.  Repeat a few times, and feel calmness and happiness return.

The best way to bring happiness into your life is to be grateful for what you have that already makes you happy! When you get snuggled into your pyjamas and get warm under the duvet, take a few minutes to list the things in your life that you are grateful for. For more on this, see my post about gratitude. What are you grateful for today?

Until next week: Do one thing every day that makes you happy. Do it with gusto. Savour it. Enjoy it. Appreciate it.

Next Week: H is for Healing.

Come and gimme some love over at:

www.angellauren.com

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Get your daily love and happiness tweets @angellassie.

A is for ‘Affirmations’: How they work and what to do when they don’t.

A is for AFFIRMATIONS: How they work and what to do when they don’t.

It was 2009-2010 and the recession was at its lowest ebb and so was I. For the first time in my adult life, I was without employment. My happiness levels and funds were as depleted as the job market, and I was unable to provide for myself financially. So I gave up my flat and moved in with my sister in an attempt to staunch my bank account’s number haemorrhage.

‘I’m never going to have enough money,’ I thought. ‘I’m never going to get a job that pays enough…there’s a recession, there are no jobs…I’m going to be in debt forever…my debts keep piling up’.

These were my affirmations and I practised them religiously. Day after day, these were the promises I was making to myself. I worried about money all the time, I talked about having no money all the time, and I convinced myself that my situation was never going to change. I was convinced that I was being judged as a failure, but really, no-one was judging me except myself.

I came to believe passionately in poverty, and with every day that I was without a job I thought: See, this is proof that I’m always going to be poor.  I didn’t realize at the time that my own limiting beliefs were making a challenging situation much, much worse. I was unable to see that I was lucky to have a sister who’d let me stay with her, and that I was getting to spend more time with my family. I couldn’t see it. I believed only in the ‘bad’ elements of my situation, and I received what I believed.

This went on for months, and my cycle of negativity had evolved into a downward spiral. Despite my negativity, I secretly held on to the hope that I’d be happy again. One day, this hopeful thought managed to force its way into my mind, like a glimmer of light, noticeable amidst the pervasive darkness. The thought that I might one day be happy again dawned on me, like the sun cracking over the horizon and dispersing an inky black night:

What if it’s my thoughts, and not the recession, that’s causing me to feel so unhappy?

When this realization dawned on me, the grip of my inner lack-narrative weakened. Previous to this, I hadn’t considered that what went on in my mind could affect the outside world. But as soon as I made the connection that my negative thinking was causing me to pick out only the events that would justify my beliefs, it resonated through me with the sort of chime achievable only by truth. I knew that for my financial situation to improve, I had to stop thinking so negatively about it.

A few days after I made this new promise to myself, I was visiting a friend in Edinburgh. As I left the train station, I noticed a bright white piece of paper loosely lodged in a crack in the pavement. It fluttered back and forth in the wind, as if it was waving to me.  The street was busy, and yet no one had noticed it.  As I got a few steps closer, I couldn’t believe my eyes: the piece of paper waving at me was a £20 note!

I picked it up and laughed.  It was more than a £20 note, it was a symbol of change.  ‘Thank you’, I thought.

****

An affirmation is a proposition that you think or say repetitively because you believe it to be true, however it is actually the repetition of the thought or statement that convinces your mind that it is  true. The process that you go through to convince yourself of the truth of a given statement is unbiased, it works the same whether the content of the proposition is positive or negative.

We are making affirmations all the time. Your life is the sum total of the beliefs you affirm. And you hold those beliefs because, in repeating them, you have assimilated them into your consciousness. Your consciousness adapts to comfortably hold the beliefs that seem true to you. The fact that you are reading this post probably means that you have spontaneously made many negative affirmations about yourself over the years. It has taken you a long, long time to believe what you do. So when you realize that you no longer identify with the beliefs you hold about yourself, it can take time and effort to change. What would you rather think about yourself and your life? Give those beliefs the same repetition that you gave the beliefs that you don’t want, and you will harness the power of the belief–>justification–> belief cycle. Having said that, it can be very difficult to change your beliefs because some beliefs are not under your conscious control. The mind is a miraculously complex entity that can hide nuggets of belief in your subconscious or in half-forgotten memories. For more on this, see my post B is for ‘Belief’. Sometimes, positive affirmations don’t work because the new affirmation comes into conflict with a deeply entrenched belief. When we try to affirm something that is opposed to a deep-seated, subconscious belief, the ‘superficial’ affirmation is not strong enough to change one of our core values, even if, consciously, we really want to change. And when it doesn’t work, we beat ourselves up even more because we failed to change, gave up, or lost the will to do our affirmations, and so the spiral of negative affirmations begins again. If this sounds familiar, try this:

To access the negative core belief and bring it to your conscious mind, ask the belief questions. Interrogate your negative belief. Listen to it and understand it. For example, say you constantly affirm that you are unloved and unwanted. On a conscious level, you know that this belief is crippling you. So you choose a new thought: I am desired and loved. You say it over and over, you write it out and stick it to your fridge, and the magic words are your laptop wallpaper. You work with the new affirmation for a few months and yet, you feel very little difference, and any difference you do feel is undermined by a voice within that chases the affirmation with a ‘yeah right, who could ever love you?’ You don’t really believe this crap do you?’ And you’re right back to square one. This will happen to many people who want to use the power of affirmations to change their outlook. Don’t beat yourself up if it happens to you. When you have a quiet moment, write down the negative affirmation that is deeply true to you. Take a few deep breaths and meditate on questioning the belief. Some good questions are:

Why do I hold this belief?

Is there a specific event that was the initial trigger for this belief?

Are there examples of times when this belief was true, when I felt unloved and unwanted?

Are there examples when the opposite was true, when I felt very loved and desirable? What did that feel like?

What does it mean to me to be ‘loved’ and ‘desired’?

Is there a way that I could love and care for myself more to help this new belief become true?

By questioning your belief, you change your relationship to it, and in so doing, you unsettle its ‘true’ and ‘logical’ place in your belief system, thereby making room for new beliefs. This method takes time and effort as you are trying to rewire your mind without the instruction manual! But keep with it, you’ll extinguish, or at least manage it, eventually and when you do, you will benefit so much from a more positive and empowering set of truths.

Some affirmations are easier to believe than others because we believe that some things are more accessible to us than others.  You may feel that a new car is much more accessible to you than true self-love.  It is only the fact that you believe that that makes it so (inception, anyone?) The only scale of difficulty in embodying positive beliefs is dictated by our beliefs about difficulty of attainment.

Here are some ‘positive affirmation’ ideas to get you started…

‘I’m sick of being fat, my cellulite is ruining my life!’

Becomes

‘I love my body.  My body is trim, beautiful and radiates with health.’

‘I’m never going to find love, why do guys always treat me like crap!?’

Becomes

‘I love myself.  I am loving, loved and loveable.’

‘*sigh* I hate my job, no one appreciates me.  I know I’m being underpaid.’

Becomes

‘I am inspired by my job. My efforts are rewarded and I am well paid.’

‘Why I am always skint? I hate having no money to enjoy life.’

Becomes

‘I earn ______enter amount here (I suggest £100,000, or why not a cool million?)_____ per year and I love my life!’

I would be so happy to read your positive affirmations. Leave me a comment by clicking on the bubble at the top right of this post.

Thank you for reading!  Until next week, enjoy exploring the You-niverse!

Next week: ‘A is for Angels’.

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